i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize