dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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