batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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