Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
