I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
