Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize