It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
