He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He felt like a one man threesome
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Green mimosas i think yes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
