whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
birth control should be required to get into college
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
