i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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