you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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