My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
