I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize