Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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