Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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