I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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