someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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