she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize