Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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