i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
