idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You made out with two different species that night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize