Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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