you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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