she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
