I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
