i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
