God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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