69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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