I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
