she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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