I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
