Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
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