I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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