If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
