I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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