Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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