if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so let's talk penis.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
