I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
