Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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