At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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