I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
