problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
