I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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