we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
