it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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