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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
