I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
