So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize