ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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