forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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