So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize