I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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