Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
