It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
