Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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