Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
