well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
