I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
