My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want to make out with him forever
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
