im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
