my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
