you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
