then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
