if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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