She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize