just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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