wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
