we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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